(Two Sams Can't Make A Right)

by Kimberly

'Twas the day before the 4th - now that'd be the 3rd,
And all through the station, not a noise was heard;
Ed Wells was sleeping - his hat pulled over his face,
Bob Brinkman sat contemplating, as he stared into space.
Three young recruits were nervous - awaiting their first call;
Jerry Woods was occupied in the second bathroom stall.
When over the radio there arose a great need-
This call could only be handled by Officers Malloy and Reed!
Away to the scene in Adam 12 they just flew;
They thought they'd seen it all, but this was something new.
A 211 in progress, now ain't that just grand-
Two drunks dressed as Uncle Sams, robbing a fireworks stand.
When what did Jim's trained eyes see from afar?
The two Sams trying to escape in a get-away car.
And quicker than anything, Pete fled in pursuit -
"We can't let them escape with all that expensive loot!"


The Sam that was driving was lively and quick;

Pete knew in a moment this arrest had to stick.


Jim whistled and shouted and called them by name,

"Stop, Sam and Sam!" - He called them the same.


Like two fleeing criminals who want to be free,

The two Sams turned right and slammed into a tree.


They jumped from the car as it burst into flames.

Pete screeched to a halt; he was tired of their games.

A crowd had gathered and simply would not go -
They weren't there for the arrest, only the fireworks show.
A spectacular light display burst in the road;
Pete and Jim stood silent, watching evidence explode.
A stern look from Pete and a nod of his head
Let the two Sams know they had plenty to dread.
The handcuffs were on and the fire soon out;
Jim felt very angry and he started to shout
And pointing a finger at one Sam's face
Said, "Do you realize the damage you've done at this place?"
Pete turned to Jim and held up his hand,
"Never mind that, Jim, it was just a fireworks stand."
The two Sams were loaded in the back of the car
And transported to the station - it wasn't very far.
Jim heard Pete exclaim as they drove past the mall,
"Happy 4th to everyone, and liberty and justice for all!"

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